Irritating Questions that people ask MBBS Students: Sarcastic Answers To Use

Hello Medicos. As an MBBS student, you often find yourself in the spotlight at family gatherings and other events. Most relatives (that did not even talk to your family before) will suddenly start loving you. They will also be curious, and their questions range from being funny to plain frustrating. 

Here’s a list of the most irritating questions you might receive. And the snarky reply you think in your head before playing along and answering nicely.

1. What branch are you doing? Pediatric or Surgery?

I’m specializing in the “Why do you keep asking me this?” branch. I’m just going to be a General Practitioner after MBBS, specialization is another 3 years.

2. Have You Seen Real Dead Bodies? Did You Touch Them? Didn’t You Faint?

Yes, I’ve seen real dead bodies. No, I didn’t faint. And no, I don’t need therapy for it, thanks for asking.

3. You Were in Final Year Last Year Too. How Come You’re Still in Final Year? Did you fail?

Because the 2nd year in MBBS is 17.5 months long. No, I did not fail, but thanks for keeping track of my academic progress.

4. How Can You Eat So Much Junk Food as a Doctor?

Yes, they do. But I’m a med student, not a saint. I am a HUMAN BEING who cheats on their diet and eats a burger every now and then.

5. Why Do Doctors Charge Such High Fees for a 5-Minute Consultation? You will give us free treatment, right?

Sure, I’ll give you a free consultation. Just let me pay off my medical college fees with monopoly money.

6. Oh you are an MBBS student? Do You Know How to Give Injections?

Yes, I do. Want to be my practice dummy?

7. I’m Having Chest Pain. What should I do?

Just a minute, let me just finish this meal and I’ll grab my medical license from the fridge to treat you.

8. This Doctor Gave Me Cough Syrup. Is It the Right One?

You could ask the doctor who prescribed it? They have a degree and I don’t yet, you know.

9. *Whatsapps their CT* Can You Diagnose This?

Sure, diagnosis is: you have a body. GO TO AN ACTUAL DOCTOR.

10. Why Didn’t You Bring Your Stethoscope Home? Our kids wanted to play.

Because I left it with my imaginary children, they wanted to play too.

11. Will I Get Diabetes if I Eat Too Many Sweets?

Only if you combine it with asking too many irritating questions. Then you are surely getting diabetes.

12. Are You Going to Marry a Doctor?

Why, are you planning the wedding already? Who told you I’m going to invite you anyway.

13. How Do You Not Know About This Disease? Are You Even an MBBS Student?

Yes, I’m an MBBS student, not a medical dictionary or Dr. Google. STOP ASKING ME DUMB QUESTIONS.

14. You Have a Very Boring Life, Don’t You? 

No not really, because nothing screams excitement like endless hours of studying and no sleep.

15. How many surgeries do you perform in one day?

Oh, you don’t know, I performed brain surgery on 10 mosquitoes just yesterday.

16. Can You Draw Blood from Someone’s Arm?

Yes, and I can draw a pretty decent doodle too. 

17. Why Do Doctors Behave Like They Are Gods? So Much Attitude for no reason.

Oh, I know. Maybe because dealing with endless questions like these requires divine patience.

18. Can Eating X Cause Cancer?

Everything can cause cancer these days, even excessive questioning.

19. How Can You Drink/Smoke If You Are a Doctor?

Because I’m a human first, and sometimes humans make questionable choices.

20. When Will You Start Getting Paid? You are studying since so long.

I’ll start getting paid when people stop asking me for free medical advice.

21. It’s Taking So Long to Finish MBBS. Why?

Because unlike your endless questions, my degree actually requires time and effort to complete.

22. Will You Treat Me for Free?

Sure, as soon as I start getting free groceries, free rent, and free sanity.

23. You Used to Score 95% in School. Why Only 65% Now?

Sure, let’s discuss scores. Can you tell me how much you scored in your 12th std for us to continue talking on this.

24. Do Professors Scold You?

Yes, and now I’m immune to scolding, just like I am to your questions.

25. How Much Are You Going to Earn Immediately After MBBS?

A crore in a day, obviously.

Conclusion

Being an MBBS student comes with a lot of irritating questions from relatives. While some questions can be repetitive or irritating, some are out of genuine curiosity.

You can be snarky and sarcastic in your heads but always remember to be polite to all the curious minds. Remember, they’re curious because they care—or so we hope. 

Have your bit of fun, but always respect your profession. Remember the duty of a doctor. Smile and move forward. Grace>>> Sarcasm.

All the best trying to be patient and unbothered by such questions!