Friendships in First Year: Some Tips

Hello medicos. The shift from NEET to College is an even bigger shift than the one from school life to NEET. It is an entirely new life, with entirely different and new avenues to explore. Friendship is one big aspect of medical college life, and it is as difficult to decipher as the medical syllabus. 

You are going to have your fun, you are going to have your groups, but you are also going to have your fights and break offs. It is cruel here.

I’ve come up with some tips that will help you choose the right friends and sustain them. Hope it helps.

Talk to Everyone

Everybody has been somewhat of a nerd during the NEET phase. You cannot just decide who you want to be friends with based on first impressions. Talk to everybody and gauge who you vibe with.

One rule here is that you should not bad mouth anyone, even if you don’t like them. People will form an opinion about you really quickly. You will be called the ‘gossip’ and people will stay away from you. Instead, just steer clear of negative talk.

If somebody else is trying to talk about someone, just stay neutral. Don’t be outright blunt and rude, but don’t play along either. DO NO BAD.

Don’t Open Up Too Soon

While it’s great to make new friends, be cautious about how much you share early on. You don’t want to go around talking about your childhood traumas and family problems in the start. What you say might be ridiculed or shared behind your back. A few months isn’t enough time to truly know someone.

Instead, pace yourself. Share personal stuff gradually as you build trust. Look out for their general opinions about things, gauge how understanding they are. Only after you feel like they are trustworthy, share your feelings and let them in.

Communication is Key

While you shouldn’t be talking personal stuff since the start, it is really really important to talk about everything else. If it’s your roommate, be incredibly honest. If something does not work with you, don’t be hesitant to bring it up.

You need to see how receptive the other person is. Can they take feedback without feeling attacked? Can they communicate their needs without attacking you? Are you fit for each other?

All these conversations are going to happen sooner or later. Better have them sooner to save yourself from friendships heartbreaks.

Consider Finances and Permissions

Think about whether your lifestyle aligns with your friends’ in terms of finances and permissions. Can you afford to do the same activities? Do you have similar restrictions from home?

Choose friends whose financial habits and freedom match yours to avoid awkward situations. Be honest while talking about your budget and limitations.

There is no harm in making friends that belong to a different strata than you, just make sure that they are mature and reliable. You don’t want someone ridiculing you for how uptight and boring you are when your family does not let you do the same stuff as them. This brings me to my next point.

Don’t pretend to be someone you are not.

While it might be tempting to hang out with the cool group, consider whether those friendships will last. It’s better to stick to people who share your interests. You do not want to be the ‘cool’ person at the price of your personal satisfaction.

Choose friends who can accept differences. Choose people who can respect your choices and decisions. You do not want someone shoving alcohol down your throat in the second week of college.

Set Boundaries

To avoid falling into such a situation, set good boundaries. Be honest and make clear what you are okay and not okay with. Set your priorities, make sure that you know your study pattern.

Your friend might have the same amount of fun as you but they might end up scoring good even while you are failing. You need to understand and personalize your time instead of being someone else’s puppet. Be your own person, set boundaries.

Accept That Friendships Might End

Not all friendships will last forever. It’s normal for some to end, and you shouldn’t hold a grudge if someone decides to move on. It might not even be your fault. A friendship could end even when one of your friends finds someone else who fits them better.

Or, one of your friends could start dating and suddenly think that they do not need friends anymore. Anything is possible. Focus on the positive experiences you shared and move on.

Holding grudges will only hurt you and won’t really bother the other person. Be smart, find new friends.

Have Fun

In the middle of all the drama, do not forget to have fun. This time is never coming back. You are never going to be a kid just out of home. Have your fair share of pranks and sneaking out and parties and what not. You won’t be with most of these people for life but the memories that you make will stay forever.

So, go on, choose wisely and have as much fun as you can. Enjoy. Stay positive, be wise, and have a great college life.